


they haven't changed

by Profe_Fest



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1950s, Bad English, Boys' Love, Fluff, Happy KamiTaza Day, M/M, OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24036013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Profe_Fest/pseuds/Profe_Fest
Summary: Perhaps, it's Kaminaga who hasn't changed. Or, it's Tazaki. Or, it's both of them who haven't changed at all no matter how many seasons has passed. Just like their old days. / Happy KamiTaza Day!
Relationships: Kaminaga/Tazaki (Joker Game)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	they haven't changed

**Author's Note:**

> Joker Game is owned Yanagi Koji. I just borrowed some of his characters here. 1950s au.

It almost became usual night for Tazaki; dull and boring.

It has been 4 years for him to use this cover, living as "Seto Reiji"—one of his ancient personas back then. Somehow, it felt a bit strange since he isn't the type that often brought up his past. However, he couldn't deny; sometimes he misses his old days. Or perhaps, he just misses _him_.

Tazaki sighed as he put a glass that he had wiped since ten minutes ago. Life as a bartender in a foreign country is kind of hard. Well, fortunately, the money wasn't really bad. Things just getting harder if there's a drunk guest who couldn't back home.

_Home._

Ah, he doesn't have any of that.

He put his towel on the table, stretched of his body for a minute—then the bell rang, surprised him. He looked at the clock, made sure he's right; it's already too late for people to come to the bar. The dawn will have risen for a few hours. Who the hell would come while they can sleep peacefully?

However, he shut his mouth, prepared himself to stop that anonymous guest and made sure he will go home quickly. "Sorry, we're already—"

"Eh? You’re already closed? I think the sign still saying you're open."

Tazaki couldn't continue his words. His eyes widened, as he looked at the person he has been missing for years.

That person didn't look exactly like in his memory, but he knew why. It has been years since they had been apart. Of course, many things had happened, things he didn't know (yet). However, Tazaki knew he's always been the same person, despite how many years had passed. His physical look probably changed, but it's still the same person he has been missing.

"Kaminaga?"

Kaminaga waved his hand, smiled cheerfully, shin brighter than all the lamps in the bar. " _Dang it_! You really look like an old man now!" said him jokingly.

Tazaki's lips shaped a warm smile. It felt very nostalgic now. "Say that to yourself."

Kaminaga laughed. He walked through the bartender's table and dragged a chair. "Well, at least women still find me attractive," said him as he sat in the chair.

"Stop that." Tazaki laughed, in a way more polite than his old comrade. "It makes me remember the old days."

" _C'mon_!" Kaminaga's laugh still continued, infected by Tazaki’s words. "How about you prepares something for us?"

"You won't expect me to give you a free alcohol, right?"

"For real? You won't give me anything as small reunion gift?" However, a few seconds later, he laughed again, as if he's still young—or perhaps, it's true; nothing is really changed from Kaminaga even he's way older now. "I'm joking. Of course, I’ll pay."

Tazaki's smile came back. "I know," said him as he poured some liquor into a glass. “What do you want tonight?”

“ _Hmm_ ,” Kaminaga grinned, “how about you surprised me?”

Tazaki almost laugh, but he held it back—he’s still good with restrained things, like the old days. “I understand. Please wait for a minute.”

.

.

That liquor shimmered under the light. It had the color like clouds of the blue sky, but somehow looked a little rough like a cotton. The color also mixed with a slight of sparkling gold. Tazaki served it with a confident smile, and Kaminaga can feel his hard work through that alcoholic drink.

“What is it?” asked Kaminaga while observing that drink once more. He could smell champagne, but didn’t have a clue for other ingredients.

“Willow catkins,” Tazaki answered it calmly. “It's the name of the liquor. I made it myself.”

“Wow! Is it a popular drink here?”

“Well, kind of.” Tazaki put his towel on the table, smiled mysteriously—Kaminaga felt some _dangerous_ secrets behind that curved lips. “The owner of this place really likes it, and so our guests. I charged him a little bit for this drink.”

That man couldn’t hold his laugh and once again, Tazaki felt he somehow living in the past, not in present time. “That’s my friend!”

Kaminaga took his glass and drank it a bit. It tasted nice; quite sweet, but a bit sour in the aftertaste. He put his glass back, grinned at his old comrade. “ _Nice_.”

Tazaki gave him a smile. He knew Kaminaga meant it—even he didn’t sound or look like that. “Thanks.”

“Then, what is that about?” Kaminaga’s grin came back. His eyes blinked several times, sending codes through his eyes. “You wouldn’t name it from a flower in many Chinese poems, would you?”

Tazaki’s lips curved a smile. “What is it? Did you suspect me for hiding something?” he dodged it calmly.

Kaminaga grinned, he. “The catkins and willow tree. **(1)** Don’t say like you didn’t know that.”

Chinese poets back then often use the willow tree in their poems. Usually, it’s a sad poem; like trying to let go things that already lost or moving on. Flower from that tree are called flower of willow, some also called it catkins. When the spring comes and the wind is strong enough to blow it away, it kinda looks like snow. Xie Daoyan **(2)** once described it with snowflakes—and somehow gave a kind of feeling like ‘letting things go’ **(3)**.

_The question is: what were things that Tazaki want to let go? His past? His secret job? Or … what?_

However, Tazaki didn’t give him an honest answer. He just stood behind the table and wiped a glass for wine. “Nothing particular. I just remembered my mission back then.”

“ _Oohh_? You sure?”

“Kaminaga, have you changed your job and became a fortune teller now?”

“ _Dang it_!” Kaminaga laughed way too loud, he really enjoyed their conversation— _like their old days_. “You won this time.”

Tazaki shook his head. His smile hasn’t disappeared from his lips. The night were getting late, but the wind couldn’t reach them. Somehow, Tazaki felt it’s getting warmer, like summer has come through inside the bar. Since they were young, Kaminaga’s presence always like that; more brilliant than any stars at the night sky. _He hasn’t changed at all_.

“Then, what is it?” Tazaki poured a red wine for himself, then looked at his comrade closely. “I know you wouldn’t bother coming here just to drink, right?”

“ _Hmmm_ …,” Kaminaga acted like he’s puzzled. He took his glass, drank it a little bit without looking at Tazaki’s eyes. “… I wonder why.”

_That again_. Tazaki sighed. Luckily, he already used to it. “Kaminaga,”

“Say, Tazaki,” Kaminaga hasn’t looked back at him, but suddenly his sound was getting serious and the atmosphere kinda felt heavier, “rather than let it go, would you like to stay?”

“Sorry?”

Kaminaga turned his head, smiled at him. It wasn’t a sly grin like before, it’s a warm smile—a smile he barely shows to the world. “Want to work for me?”

.

.

“That _old man_ visited me. He said he will inherit the agency and make me as his successor,” Kaminaga started. His finger tapped the table, making a slow tempo beat. “I accepted it with several conditions, and he said he’s okay with that. He also told me that he wouldn’t bother the new D-Agency or the way I’d trained new spies. It’s all up to me.”

Tazaki almost lost his words. It’s not really that surprised, though, he knew Kaminaga are above almost them—even himself. However, knowing their old supervisor came and asked his old comrade to be his successor is the part that made him surprised the most.

“Congratulation.” That’s the first thing Tazaki could ever say. “Now, how should I call you then? ‘Kaminaga- _san_ ’, maybe?”

Kaminaga burst into laugh. “ _C’mon_! It kinda frightened me.”

“You knew I wasn’t serious, didn’t you?” Tazaki drank his wine a little bit, trying to calm himself. “You still haven’t told me your purpose for visiting me here, Kaminaga.”

“ _Ooh_? I thought you’d already have a guess.” The brownish haired man winked, almost like he’s trying to flirt the bartender. “Or perhaps, your ability had become dull, eh?”

“I know you’re joking, but please stop.”

" _'Kay_." Kaminaga tried to stop his laugh. "You still haven't changed, have you?"

At that moment, Tazaki lost his voice. A thought showered his mind. It's not only him who thought his old comrade hasn’t changed, even though many seasons have been passed until now.

He knew Kaminaga hadn’t changed and talked about it in his mind. At the same time, Kaminaga also felt the same way, but he was never insisted to talk it out loud. _Just like their old days_. _He hasn’t changed, Kaminaga hasn’t changed—or perhaps, it’s them who haven’t changed at all_.

“Tazaki,”

Kaminaga called for him, disrupted Tazaki’s reverie. When Tazaki looked back at the brownish haired man, he found Kaminaga had been smiling. It’s not a sincere smile, instead it’s more looked like a grin from seven years old boy. However, Tazaki could feel honesty from it—and how much he has missed it, how much that smile felt like home for him.

“Would you like to become my deputy for the new D-Agency?”

_For heaven’s sake_. Tazaki could never understand how Kaminaga stole his breath with a single sentence—and a smile that more brilliant than summer’s sunlight. _How could he say no for that?_

.

.

“It surprised me.”

“ _Oohh_ … should I say sorry for that?”

“Please don’t.” Tazaki gave him a slight of a smile. “Let’s just say that I wasn’t really prepared for it. I thought you would ask other people.”

“ _Dear God_.” Kaminaga once again burst into laugh. “Who else would I ask for it?”

“I don’t know. Amari, maybe?”

“Those military old men will have an instant heart disease if I really chose him instead of you.” Kaminaga shook his head as he lifted his shoulder—he couldn’t believe it himself. “Or worse; it’s a sign of the end of the world.”

“He isn’t really that bad, I think.”

“But both of us are really bad in handling formal things. You know, like administration and formal meeting?” Kaminaga reached his drink, then drank it a little bit too much. As he put his glass back, he looked at Tazaki, shared a smile that filled with pride and trust. “It has—it _must_ be _you_.”

_Dear God._ Tazaki took a deep breath, trying to calm his mind back. _How could you say that without feeling ashamed?_

Tazaki kept silent, Kaminaga let him taking some more minutes. He knew Tazaki need it, no matter how many years has passed, he’s always like that; taking some minutes first, _think_ , then decide. Losing Tazaki is a very unfortunate thing for Japanese espionage world— _no_ , for _himself_.

“Do you _really_ want to let it go like the catkins?” Kaminaga asked, broke the silent. This time, he didn’t even give his old comrade a glance.

Again, Tazaki didn’t answer him. Perhaps, it’s way too heavy for Tazaki. Or maybe he just wants to tease him—but it’s _unlike_ Tazaki at all.

“You know …,” the black haired man finally spoke, “… like you said; _yes_ , I almost let _it_ go. Like the wind that blew up the catkins. I tried to live like a civilian; search for a job, pay my tax—live like a normal people.” And the silent returned inside the bar.

_There it is_. At that moment, Kaminaga almost smelled his defeat. _Tazaki wouldn’t come with him_. And somehow knowing that left an uneasy feeling inside his chest; like loss— _no_ , it’s more like … emptiness.

“However—“ Tazaki drank his wine a bit, then gave a nostalgic smile to Kaminaga. “It’s very boring. I like peacefulness, but not in something that makes time feel so slow.”

Kaminaga lifted up his chin, trying to see Tazaki’s face. It wasn’t a face he had been imagining. Tazaki showed him a full of confidence, but still felt soft— _like their old days_.

“I will come,” said Tazaki in serious tone. “But, I would like you to accept my conditions too—like you did to Yuuki- _san_.”

“ _Goddamnit_!” Kaminaga cursed instantly. “Since when does you like to tease people? I take my words back. You’ve _changed_ , Tazaki! _Goddamnit_! I lost!”

Tazaki laughed, this time it looked more loose and free than his previous laughs. “Sorry for that.”

But Kaminaga waved his hand in the air, a sign that he didn’t really care about that. His grin came back, and Tazaki felt he’s being forced to feel reminisce; how many times he has been falling for that curved lips.

“Okay, okay! I understood. I’ll definitely hear all of your conditions,” said Kaminaga, declaring his own surrender. However, he also added a sentence, “ _Damn_. I’ll be more careful when I’m talking you next time.”

“It’s not that bad, is it?” Tazaki was still laughing.

“ _Nope_.” Kaminaga still argued. He covered his face with his hands, once again groaned before added, “Thank you for coming with me, Tazaki. I really mean it, _y’know_?”

Tazaki stared at his old comrade in surprise. “Have you also changed, Kaminaga?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re getting emotional— _a bit_.”

“I’d probably getting older.” Kaminaga stopped covering his face, then ruffled the back of his hair. “ _Ouch_ … I really didn’t want to say that. I still feel young, as fresh as morning dew.”

“I know you’re joking, but please stop.”

Kaminaga cackled, then snapped his fingers. “Anything for you, Tazaki.” He said that with a funny tone, made it like a joke but Tazaki really didn’t mind it.

“It’s all settled, isn’t it?” Tazaki asked him calmly. “I need to close this bar soon. And I bet you shouldn’t be seen here, right?”

“Kind of.” Kaminaga answered it lightly. “Well, I’ll see you for a week. How’s that?”

However, Tazaki shook his head, disagree with that. Kaminaga raised his eyebrow, didn’t understand.

“Give me five days,” said Tazaki.

Kaminaga fell for a silent before smirked again. “ _’Kay_. Five days then,” said him.

The brownish haired man took some money from his pocket, then handed it over without looking. “Keep the change,” said him while winking at the black haired man.

Tazaki let him, although he wanted to laugh really hard. He knew the _change_ Kaminaga gave him was part for his preparation to _disappear_. However, he still found it funny. Perhaps it’s true that both of them haven’t changed at all.

Before Kaminaga left the bar, he had waved at Tazaki. His smile was too bright for Tazaki, but somehow he couldn’t avert his eyes.

“It’s nice to see you, Tazaki!” said Kaminaga right before he really left.

Silent fell over inside the bar. Summer has gone at the moment Kaminaga set his foot outside the bar. But, _once again_ , Tazaki didn’t mind. He _knew_ it wasn’t a farewell, that they will have met again in five days.

“Time to work back, eh?”

_Nothing has changed at all._

**Author's Note:**

> (1) : The catkins and willow tree are common things in Chinese poems. It often appears in poems about farewell (CREDIT FOR @hey_its_wei. THANK YOU WEI! I LUV U!). So, let’s assume that both Kaminaga and Tazaki knew about this hehe :’’>
> 
> (2) : According to my reading, Xie Daoyan is the most famous Chinese poet who ever made comparasion between willow catkins and snowflakes.
> 
> (3) : I’ve found this part in internet hehe :”)) I actually found about catkins and willow tree from anime titled "Senkou no Night Raid". Someone out there from a forum wrote about the symbolism in that anime and said this: "The willow tree in itself is a sign of surrender, but not like giving up. But more like you let things slide and let it go the right way". Therefore, I wrote that hehe :’’>  
> .  
> .  
> a/n: I FINALLY DID IIITTTTTTT *throws some confetti* GOD, it’s tiring I still believe I will destroy all kamitaza/tazakami’s archives because of this CURSED THING *looks at my fanfictions* I … never write in English before, therefore I used some grammar checker, but still, I don’t know. Pls forgive me for this ;;;; I hope I can revise this thing with something better in the future orzzzz aaaaaaa
> 
> anyway, thanks for coming and reading this! I … I don’t know guys, I just hoped you guys can enjoy it KANDHAHDJNIKJ *laying down on my bed*
> 
> Last, happy kamitaza day! (I'm sorry I didn't give my best for these guys aaaaaaa *sobs*)
> 
> -Regards-  
> Profe_Fest


End file.
